Thursday, October 17, 2013

Together we have it all....

My life is everything but, normal. It's wonderful but, it's crazy. Raising five girls in a very blended family means that there is NEVER a dull moment in our lives. If you continue to follow us on this journey, I am sure that you will agree!

Let me introduce you to my family:


Sophisticated and wise beyond her years is my Jojo.  Jojo is a 15 year old freshman. Her dad (aka Peep) and I dated back when I was in high school. We fell in love fast and thought we could live on just that. Life changed for us when Jojo was born and as much as we were in love, we were also growing apart. I was forced to grow up immediately, while Peep still wanted the choice to party like the young kids we really were. His father had seen the path that we were on, and encouraged him to move back to the East Coast to attend college there. That was when Jojo was 8 months old. Peep and I tried to do the long distance relationship thingy but, time after time, it failed. Peep and I went through some really hard years but, at this point, we consider each other one of our best friends. Peep is now married and has finally got his life on track. Speaking of tracks, Peep also is a musician. He writes music, produces music, and has a voice that was definitely a gift of God. The reason that I bring this up is that Jojo has been able to feel close to her dad throughout the years, despite the distance, via his music. It has been such a blessing! So anyhoo, Jojo has encountered more things in her life than she probably should have. Growing up long before her time. Probably not such a good thing when she was little, however, the trials and tribulations she has faced have proved to help her be the amazing teenager that she is! Witty, intelligent, and heart of gold. Jojo is truly beautiful on the inside and out!! Being as confident, independent and strong as she is, I will kiss the feet of any man that is able to catch her and is able to put a ring on her finger! This girl has a zero bullshit tolerance level. Not kidding.


After Peep, I met Charmin. Charmin was everything Peep wasn't at the time. He was stable, had goals, and wanted nothing more than to become a family. He accepted Jojo as his own, and to this day, continues to be a part of her life. One fine day, I found out that I was pregnant with Lele, and although the circumstances weren't right, I have been blessed with one of the sweetest little girls. Lele is an introvert and has been her whole life. Unlike her sisters, she doesn't like being the center of attention. When the girls were little and would put on plays in the living room, Lele would be the one sitting next to me on the couch laughing and shaking her head. Lele is naturally shy but, once she opens up, an amazing butterfly emerges from her cocoon. When she speaks, people listen. Lele is now 12 years old and is in the 7th grade. She really has evolved over the last year, and I am so excited to see how she blossoms! I tend to be more sensitive to Lele. It's not out of favoritism (as the other girls like to think) but, more so, because she will always be my sweet little girl.


Thirteen months after Lele was born, I was blessed with yet another daughter. From the day I went into labor with her, Rani was bound to make her impression in this world! She couldn't wait to arrive and almost was born on the way to the hospital. I knew from that day that my little girl was going to be full of spunk! Rani has always been her own person and continues to prove that daily. She knows exactly what she likes, exactly what she wants, exactly what her style is....and if you don't like it, she will tell you so! I like to refer to her as the "barometer" of our house. If she wakes up in a good mood, the day will be great. If she wakes up in a bad mood, steer clear of her. Seriously. Lol. Rani, who is now a 11 year old 6th grader, has a huge heart and would be the first to help you if you are hurt and in need. I always say that her theme song would be the one with the lyrics "there's a little bit of devil in those angel eyes". Thankfully, she agrees :) She is also very musically inclined. Rani has an amazing voice and when she sings, she captures the complete attention of anyone listening. She also plays the flute and I am astonished at how easy it comes for her.  The girls like to think that I stick up for Rani alot more than I should. And maybe I do. But, to me, she will always be my sunshine.


After Rani was born, Charmin and I finally decided that the right thing to do was to get married. After all, up until this point, we had been doing things half ass backwards. Not that there is a "right" way to do things but, we knew that it was a responsible thing to do for our young family. Charmin and I got married in February 2003, and by April, Charmin decided to tell me that he was a Jehovah's Witness. A what?? Yep, a Jehovah's Witness. I knew nothing about JW's except that when we saw them coming down the block, we closed all the shades and locked the front door. We didn't answer as they relentlessly knocked at our front door, and my mom would act as if the pamphlet they left behind was tainted by the Devil himself. So, as you can imagine, I kind of freaked out a bit when Charmin brought this to surface. I can elaborate more on this later but, the reason I bring it up is because of the huge impact it has on my family today. At the time, however, Jojo was just starting kindergarten and I decided to see if I could use that school year to convince him to "compromise" before causing any more disruptions. Charmin's religion eventually snowballed to bigger and bigger problems for the next few years, and ultimately ended in our divorce.


During that first year though, I strengthened my faith while trying to prove Charmin's wrong. I trusted that God would take our marriage where he needed to. God proved to have another twist in the story for us, and in August of 2004, Kayah came into our lives 10 weeks early. At only 3lbs 6.8oz,  my little peanut surprisingly did not too many health complications, and only spent 28 days in the NICU. Kayah will always be my miracle baby. Now, if you want to laugh, spend five minutes with this little chick! She has an incredible sense of humor, and simply relishes on putting smiles upon everyone's face. Funny, adorable, and supremely genuine, Kayah is the tension breaker in our family 98% of the time. When things are crazy or chaotic, she will find some way to get each and everyone of us to bust out laughing. She is definitely the balance amongst the girls.


So now, fast forward to the year 2011. At this time, I have now officially been divorced for two years. Charmin takes the kids half of the week. I have a taste of freedom and "me" time. I am bartending, as well as working full time. When I  have the kids, I am really responsible and when I don't, not so much. I've been on the dating scene, and realize that it's not everything it's cut out to be. They always say that when you aren't looking, that's when you will find "the one". Well, I lived that. Connected through a beautiful friend of ours, I met Honeybee...my strong and steady. I never knew, at the time,  how important this man would become to me. I almost ruined it because it was so "right", and at that point in my life "right" was something I hadn't been accustomed to. A few short months later, I found myself pregnant once again with the daughter that I swear God sent to save me! I was heading down a severely slippery slope. I was sure that I was months, if not days, away from a complete crash and burn. Thankfully, Honeybee, never gave up on me. Thankfully, God blessed us with Baby J! Thankfully.Thankfully. Thankfully! 


Baby J just had her first birthday. Can hardly believe it's been a year already! My pregnancy with her was a rough one. I just think that being pregnant in your 30's is waaaaay different than in your 20's! Not only was I exhausted and sick, I also had medical complications that made me miserable. Baby J tried to enter this world when I was just 25 weeks along but, fortunately, stayed inside until I was 34 weeks. Three days after her birth, the doctors thought she had a extremely rare blood disorder called "Proprionic Acidemia". If you have never heard of it, look it up. Scary stuff! For the next three weeks after her birth, we fervently prayed and prayed for our good Lord to heal her or for the test results to come back negative. Well, our prayers were answered and come to find out Baby J was as healthy as could be! Thank God! A year later, she continues to be a blessing. So full of life and personality. Baby J is still breastfed, and much to huge public controversy, co-sleeps with Honeybee and I. I never intended for it to be that way, and definitely never this long, but it is what it is. I think I just want to hold onto her a little tighter and a little longer because I know that she is my last child. Not only that, but I know exactly how fast the kids grow and how time slips away. Disagree? That's okay. She's our child. Not yours. You get to do what you want with yours. We will do what we want with our Baby J. :)


So, there ya have it. Our not so little family. Never a dull moment. Never ending laundry. Never ending love. We might not have it all together, but together we have it all! <3